Flight Joke Lover Pillows

Vampire on a plane

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

Two birds refuel.

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

I brake for Jetliners.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

Lost plane keys.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. 'did you want anything to drink?'"

'Is this business class?'

Obliging as always, Elliot agrees to take a flying leap.