Plane Humor Lover Pillows

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Flight simulator'

Vampire on a plane

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

The Problem with the TSA

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stealth broom.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

Two birds refuel.

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

I brake for Jetliners.

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

What really killed the dinsaurs.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

Lost plane keys.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. 'did you want anything to drink?'"

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'