Flight Joke Lover Prints

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

Vampire on a plane

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Stealth broom.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

Two birds refuel.

I brake for Jetliners.

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

What really killed the dinsaurs.

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

Lost plane keys.

'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. 'did you want anything to drink?'"

Obliging as always, Elliot agrees to take a flying leap.

'Is this business class?'