Flight Deck Humorist Gifts

'Captain, I see another plane at 10:22.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Flight simulator'

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Vampire on a plane

"It's my helper trout!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

Man painting MOM on boat

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Fish near-death experiences.

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'