Skydiving Humorist Gifts

Laundry Chutes.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

The rocket powered skiier

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Cow Blue Arrows

'Flight simulator'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."