Diving Humorist Gifts

'I said to come in 'full scuba gear', not 'Scooby gear'!'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Bicycle sat nav.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Guide fish.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Walking the Plank.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Shark Chum

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

Fish Farm.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'I got one this small.'

Fish near-death experiences.