Flexibility Jokester Gifts

"How's your exercise class going?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

"Stuart, I'm Stuck! Get. Help...Stu..."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Gymnast tangled up.

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'Existential truckstop'

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

'If at first you don't succeed, do it the way I told you to.'

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'I don't like the look of this fish.' 'It had ugly parents.'

'Oh great, we break down in the middle of nowhere and the only spare tyre we have is the one around your waist!'

'A car crash? No Doc... advanced pilates!'

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'