Flea Joke Enthusiasts Gifts

'Of course you have fleas, what would be the point of scratching if we didn't all have fleas?'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Fleas talk about their life aboard cats..."

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

'...Pack your bags. When we get indside, we're moving to the cat.'

'Your dog or mine?'

'It's just until he stops biting himself over there.'

"No wonder it's itchy: You have a whole flea circus on your back!"

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

"Dad, sit still! I'm trying to watch the flea-circus acts!"

Four fleas line up for a race on a dog: 'Hey, did you hear about Frank... he was scratched!'

"How in the world did he train his fleas to do that, anyway?"

'It's really getting crowded around here! I think we should move to a larger dog.'

At the signing of the Great Picnic Treaty.

'Do currants have wings?' - 'You've just swallowed a fly.'

Marvo and his fleas at the vets, Vet with gun "I'm sorry but he's broken a leg".

Dog walker

'There's no hope - I'm going to have to put him down.'

"The "Antelope Chess Club" is advertising the date, time and place of its general assembly! Methinks we'll pay them a visit..."

'I want to earn a place on this dog - I'm tired of being such a parasite.'

'Most exotic fleas'

'Darn fleas! I don't mind the itching so much, but the Circus music is driving me crazy...'

'What - pigs can't fly?! Why wasn't I informed of that before??'

Real Estate For Fleas

'And now for the light side of the news. My dog has fleas.'

COWS: Pull up man!! You're going too deep