Flea Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Fleas talk about their life aboard cats..."

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"Okay, which one of you called me CANDYASS?!"

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

'...Pack your bags. When we get indside, we're moving to the cat.'

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

'Your dog or mine?'

'It's just until he stops biting himself over there.'

"No wonder it's itchy: You have a whole flea circus on your back!"

"Dad, sit still! I'm trying to watch the flea-circus acts!"

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

Four fleas line up for a race on a dog: 'Hey, did you hear about Frank... he was scratched!'

"How in the world did he train his fleas to do that, anyway?"

'It's really getting crowded around here! I think we should move to a larger dog.'

'Do currants have wings?' - 'You've just swallowed a fly.'

Dog walker

Marvo and his fleas at the vets, Vet with gun "I'm sorry but he's broken a leg".

You've been playing around with that bug light again, haven't you?

'The Zoo just ain't what it used to be!'

Occidental

"Stop, Frank! That's not deodorant!"

'Darn fleas! I don't mind the itching so much, but the Circus music is driving me crazy...'

'There's no hope - I'm going to have to put him down.'

What time is it Mr. Wolf? Like I haven't heard that one before!