Fix-it Comedian Gifts

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

Timber preservation

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'No it's still not fixed'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

How to Build a Bungalow

Problem Solver Wanted