Fitness Tech Explorers Gifts

"You exercise with your phone?"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Dieting Motivation.

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"It's called a treadmill workstation, not a stationary rat race."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

"The gods really love tight buns."

Muscular Dad

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"Here, I've developed a pedometer that keeps track of how many people walk all over you."

Family separated by the Internet

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Frog to frog: I went to a yoga class, but the instructor didn't know squat.

"This is absurd!" "This is incredible!"

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

Following satellite navigation instructions is an essential skill in the modern world.

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

She wants me to quit smoking PLUS start exercising to boot?

"Training aid."

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

"Hey, where are you going?"

'Inside of me is a skinny person urging me to join a gym. That's when I sedate her with a slice of chocolate pie.'

Vulnerability & Technology Venn Diagram