Fitness Technology Enthusiast Gifts

"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Speed reader...?"

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

"Forget 10,000 steps. I've programmed it to help me reach 10,000 dollars a day."

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"Too much information."

'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'

"I think he's dead but we'll need to check his fitness monitor to confirm..."

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

"...I'm telling you clocking 'buy now' doesn't burn any calories."

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

"Let's take a quick power walk."

'This is our low cal, low cholesterol, low fat model.'

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."