
"Speed reader...?"
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"Speed reader...?"
"Do you guys serve beer?"
March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"
Banana Yoga
"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."
Sport
'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'
'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'
"You exercise with your phone?"
"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"
Could I go back and forth a few times first? I've almost got my steps in for today.
'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'
Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'
"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."
Completely worthless machines: The Exer-Segway.
"Too much information."
"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."
"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."
"He'll have the salad."
"This fitness app predicts pulled muscles and a lot of crying. I'm assuming it's you it's referring to."
'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'
"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."
"...I'm telling you clocking 'buy now' doesn't burn any calories."
"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."
Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.
Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.
"Let's take a quick power walk."
'This is our low cal, low cholesterol, low fat model.'
'If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer
"I am referring you to some alternative medicine..."
"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"
"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."
"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."
Hmm. Yoga where you hold positions for a long time. I'll try it. I've got my mat. I've got my blocks. And I've got my � eReader.
Water. Energy bars. Check ur phone.
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