Fitness Techies Gifts

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"Speed reader...?"

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"Whatever."

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

Antenna Yoga.

'This yoga is too hot.'

'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

What gym did you say you're coming from?

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

"You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!"

"Let's take a quick power walk."

"I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter."

"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."