Fitness Techies Pillows

Completely worthless machines: The Exer-Segway.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"Speed reader...?"

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"Whatever."

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Could I go back and forth a few times first? I've almost got my steps in for today.

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

'This yoga is too hot.'

Antenna Yoga.

'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"He'll have the salad."

Check it out - it tell you if the people you bit were fit!

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

What gym did you say you're coming from?

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

"You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!"

"Let's take a quick power walk."

"I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter."

"All this damn spinning...shouldn't it be charging our phones or something?"

Hmm. Yoga where you hold positions for a long time. I'll try it. I've got my mat. I've got my blocks. And I've got my � eReader.