Tech-savvy Fitness Aficionado Pillows

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Robber on treadmill

"Speed reader...?"

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Could I go back and forth a few times first? I've almost got my steps in for today.

"I don't get all the hype about treadmill desks."

'I think putting a better team together might work, too.'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

Completely worthless machines: The Exer-Segway.

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

I think the doctor will agree with me on this, Sir, you have Elephantitis!

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

There's nothing like a good workout!

"Better work the legs next time you are at the gym Sampson."

Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.

'Of course you couldn't finish your 3 triple cheeseburgers, 2 large fries and shake. You didn't stretch before you ate.'

"Let's take a quick power walk."

Running with the Devil.

'This is our low cal, low cholesterol, low fat model.'

'If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer