Technology Lover With Gym Aspirations Pillows

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Speed reader...?"

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

Hey, what happened to the rule about running in the house?

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

Sport

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"You exercise with your phone?"

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Shopping for an exercise bike

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

Jehovah's Fitness

Completely worthless machines: The Exer-Segway.

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

'Harold always finds a way to do things lying down.'

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

"So this the new walkies huh?"

"Perfect for when you've just got to get away, but have nowhere to go."

'The ab swing is supposed to come with a meal plan. Check it, cause I need to know if I should eat before my 5-minute workout.'

"Let's take a quick power walk."

"Yes, I'm the party with treadmill for sale. It's like new."

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."