Fitness Strugglers Gifts

'He sprained his wrist inserting the exercise DVD.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

How the Fiddle Stays Fit.

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"Pace yourself, Mother."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

Fred found he got more exercise when jogging while listening to a gramophone than an iPod.

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

Healthy Eating Fast

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"