Fitness Quitter Gifts

The Quitbit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"We need to walk."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

New years resolutions

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

'It's a side effect of giving up smoking.'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

"You know, anyone who wishes he had a remote control for his exercise equipment is missing the idea of exercise equipment."

Smokers.

'Oh man, I should really give up smoking!'

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

I'm giving you a prescription for hard-to-remove stop smoking patches. Place one over the opening of every pack of cigarettes you buy.

'Touch my toes? -- I have servants for that sort of thing!'

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Do the patches help?'

'I tried jogging once, but it frothed up my beer.'

Walking the dog.

Fitness. No, thanks

"Chase him? That sounds dangerously close to exercise."

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight...'

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

"This year, I resolve to give up smoking."