Fitness Quitter Gifts

The Quitbit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

New years resolutions

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

'It's a side effect of giving up smoking.'

"I see you went to the hypnotherapist"

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

"You know, anyone who wishes he had a remote control for his exercise equipment is missing the idea of exercise equipment."

Smokers.

'Oh man, I should really give up smoking!'

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

'Touch my toes? -- I have servants for that sort of thing!'

I'm giving you a prescription for hard-to-remove stop smoking patches. Place one over the opening of every pack of cigarettes you buy.

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

'Do the patches help?'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

"Chase him? That sounds dangerously close to exercise."

'I tried jogging once, but it frothed up my beer.'

"This year, I resolve to give up smoking."

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight...'

"I'm not sure what that feels like."