Fitness Struggles Gifts

Floor exercise: crying uncontrollably

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Ring for Service.

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

A mid-lithe crisis.

'Your 'guns' are very impressive Norman,but not at work.'

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Before and After diet photos.

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

"The power's out again? So what do you do when that happens?"

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

'Irregular heartbeat. Due to irregular exercise.'

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

"Changing your Facebook profile does not count as exercise!"

'Your fitness regime hasn't worked headmaster. The gym floor collapsed.'