Fitness Apps Pillows

"You exercise with your phone?"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Dog Walking Services

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Well, well, well...'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Be Healthy

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Turn, turn and turn.

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'