Using Fitness Apps Pillows

"This fitness app predicts pulled muscles and a lot of crying. I'm assuming it's you it's referring to."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"Speed reader...?"

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"Whatever."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

"Given the coronavirus, you're all going have to work at home."

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

"Thank goodness I was getting my share prices confused with my resting heart rate."

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"I don't like it when he bangshis heyboard when he gets frustrated with his computer. But he needs the exercise."

'This yoga is too hot.'

"I think he's dead but we'll need to check his fitness monitor to confirm..."

"Sorry, but your fitness watch called and asked me to not let you in for another week."

Baby Yoga

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

'Fat chance!'

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

"He'll have the salad."

"You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!"

"Ya, ya I know. But I only have 120 more steps to reach my daily goal."