Fish Hook Fixer Gifts

'Yes, I've removed lots of fish-hooks from dogs...'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Waiting for Pants

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

"Just confirming, there are no catch limits or size restrictions?"

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

'It's our last resort.'

'No, you're the plumber, you go and check how bad the leak is.'

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

"Careful, you nearly took my eye out with that thing"

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Despite being dumped by his girlfriend on Christmas Eve, Norman still found a way to pull the crackers despite her absence.

Stitches.

'Ah - you must be the Polish plumber.'