First Pet Birthday Gifts

"You don't look a day over seven times your actual age."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Playing Fetch.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

'That was fun!'

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Family with pets.

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Soft Spot.

Dog wearing a cone

'They're dog roses!'

'I think he's lonely.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'