First Pet Birthday Pillows

"You don't look a day over seven times your actual age."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Playing Fetch.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

'Fetch.'

'That was fun!'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Haute Suture

Hush puppy.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Family with pets.

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Soft Spot.

'I think he's lonely.'

Dog wearing a cone

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'They're dog roses!'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

''I couldn't wait any longer.''