First Aid Fan Gifts

First aid in mountains

Dog being carried off by ducks.

The Heimlich Maneuver

Biggest heimlich maneuver ever recorded.

First Aid

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

DIY marriage counseling.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I'm a busy man Jenkins. This better be important!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Try taking baby steps."

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."