First Aid Fan Gifts

First aid in mountains

Dog being carried off by ducks.

The Heimlich Maneuver

First Aid

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"I'm a busy man Jenkins. This better be important!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Therapy for the cow dependent

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

Sling

Broken down ambulance means horse and man have to carry stretcher

Head in the sand.

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

Last chance for dream analysis.