Fireside Story Fan Gifts

"Can we do this another night? I've got an early report."

The Fourth Little Pig

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Yes, all at once!'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Moby Dick

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Ask A Silly Question.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Romulus and Remus

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

God's Double Whammy.

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch