Fireside Story Fan Gifts

"Can we do this another night? I've got an early report."

The Fourth Little Pig

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Yes, all at once!'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

This side is the gag reel.

Moby Dick

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Ask A Silly Question.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Mom dwarves.

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"You don't think this could be construed as ironic do you?"

Romulus and Remus

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

Bertolt Brecht

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

God's Double Whammy.

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Updated Fairy Tales Cinderella. My lawyers won't let me do glass slippers anymore --- Too many liability issues.