Fireproofing Pillows

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

A young Don King

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Interior design trends for parents....

Woman escapes with cats.

"Smokey The Tree"

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

The New Normal

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

The Cause of the Australian Bushfires

Burning love

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

USA Putting Out Fires

'The casserole didn't make it.'

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

"Someone is at the front door."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Forest rangers prevent forest fires

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

"We should have stopped these green agitators from making predictions long before their predictions came true."