Fire Safety Enthusiast Pillows

"Why did I come in here?"

Smoke Detector Support Group

'We managed to save almost everything in your van from the fire. . . except for the bread. . . it's toast.'

Ron, I used this while you were on vacation. Please refill. Love, mother.

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

'I warmed up your side.'

Marvin Shlepmuffin - the guy who pre-programs your fire alarm battery to fail at 2:30 in the morning every time...

'Looks like Ogg just discovered fire.'

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

House On Fire

National Park System: Your campfire is still smoldering.

'Well, they can also be used as breath fresheners.'

"Where did you get that?"

'Only I can prevent forest fires? What's fire?'

Customers Who Bought This

Worker reading instructions on how to put out fire while smoke billows all around him.

'I think this calls for gas masks.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Emergency Fire Blanket

A mover is told to put the fire in the fireplace.

'I told you not to play with matches!'

"Wait a minute - Where's the fire escape?"

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"The stockings have caught fire, again."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Smokey The Tree"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

The New Normal

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."