Fine Dodgers Gifts

Sp££d Camera

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

Fear of news.

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"Regular service or affected?"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Aperitif?"

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

Lunch

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

"I'm sending it back. This doesn't taste funny at all."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"You should have been here at eight!"

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."