Fine Dodgers Gifts

Sp££d Camera

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Fear of news.

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"Regular service or affected?"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"Aperitif?"

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

Lunch

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

Chez Ritzo. Yes, I would like an after dinner mint - I need one to pay this check.

"If only you could do this in real life..."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

"I'm sending it back. This doesn't taste funny at all."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"You should have been here at eight!"

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.