Fine Dining Philosopher T-Shirts

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

Stratigraphy

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'