Dinner Philosopher T-Shirts

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

Chick in noodle soup.

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'