Diner Philosophy Lover T-Shirts

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'How would you like your toast?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"A votre sante!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"The usual."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"