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All-Night Diner

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Diner.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Who gets the decaf?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'How would you like your toast?'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'