Dinner Philosophers T-Shirts

"How was your lonely little dinner, sir?"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

Chick in noodle soup.

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

"Now son. We haven't given thanks for all we're about to destroy."

"How long have we been married?"

"The longer it takes him to recite the specials, the guiltier I feel for not ordering one."

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'