Dinner Philosopher Gifts

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

Chick in noodle soup.

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"