Dinner Time Philosopher Gifts

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

'The only time he works up a sweat is running to the dinner table...'

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

"It's blank!!"

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

"Now son. We haven't given thanks for all we're about to destroy."