Meal-time Philosopher Gifts

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Well did he?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Think about the honey."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"Is it free-range?"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Adam and Eve - Food scares

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'