Meal-time Philosopher T-Shirts

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Well did he?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Think about the honey."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"Is it free-range?"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'