Family Dinner Philosopher Gifts

'Oh, I know that broccoli is good for me -- it's just that I don't feel I deserve it.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

'Dad, are we rich?'

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"Son, as long as my lawyers can still find enough legal loopholes to get me out somehow, I don't do anything immoral."

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."