Fine Dining Parody Lover Gifts

"When I said I wanted a bottle of the house red, I meant ketchup."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"We're out of flowers."

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Oops, my bad … It is vinegar."

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

'What's the special?'

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

'There'll be a short delay, sir -- your businessman's lunch is under investigation.'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'It's called Les Restes. It's French for leftovers.'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

'Just bring us your best beers-all of 'em.'

'Perhaps, Monsieur would perfer a different vintage?'