Financial Wordsmith Gifts

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

"Did you say 'plummet', Mr. Casey? We don't use that word around here. We say 'downtick'."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

"Do me next."

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

Cut Price

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."