Financial Wordsmith Gifts

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

"Did you say 'plummet', Mr. Casey? We don't use that word around here. We say 'downtick'."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Cut Price

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'