Economic Wordsmith Gifts

Economics Symposium: 'Why 'Reaganomics' is a word, but not Bushonomics, Clintonomics or Nixonomics...'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

I think you're ace

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Intellectual Foreplay...

'He never listened to his mother!'

A Poet

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

You trip on it, you buy it.

Sharp Eyes

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'