Financial Wordplay Enthusiast Gifts

'When is it due Diligence?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Punt Cake

Please Drove Carefully.

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Nuts to you, too."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Privates Beach"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

The americanisation of vulture.

AA Meeting Here Today

Wordplay: In The Bag.