Financial Techie Gifts

"First it was one kid, then another and another...mobile banking has put my kind out of work."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

The day the stock market went UP.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Audio Books

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

The Shrinking Dollar.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

City Redundancies - In? Out?

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Euro Bait

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Italy just bought France."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"