Financial Techie Gifts

"First it was one kid, then another and another...mobile banking has put my kind out of work."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

The day the stock market went UP.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Audio Books

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

The Shrinking Dollar.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

Euro Bait

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Warren Buffett

"Italy just bought France."

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."