Techie Trader Gifts

'I'm sorry, your broker is no longer available. He's been replaced by an app.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Build Your Own Portfolio

Ascent of Machine.

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Invest in technology."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

Gadget geek.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

City Boy.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

A child runs an equity stand.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Why markets crash.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'