Financial Therapist Gifts

Attempting to understand the market: Merrill, Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Freud.

'Sounds in perfect shape! - That's my wallet!' (Doctor and patient).

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

British savings accounts

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Jack of all trades

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'