Financial Counselor Gifts

'Any other ways you 'give back' than to the I.R.S.?'

"This is a penny stock. This is a prime stock and this is a laughing stock."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'You have too many credit cards. I think you have a debt wish.'

You have too many credit cards. I think you have a debt wish.

'I notices that under 'past experience', you once shared a cell with Bernie Madoff.'

"If we throw in your assets plus all those unused gift cards, I think we've got you a retirement plan!"

"Buy infrastructure funds. Hey, isn't that stock tip from the street worth something?"

". . . while Rip slept, his stock portfolio went way up. . . and everyone lived happily ever after."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

British savings accounts

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'That's our mission statement.'

Jack of all trades

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."