Financial Humor Pillows

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"I'm glad you came in. You're behind on your getaway car payments."

Cyclist dismayed as price of air at pump has gone up from 20p to £5 due to Credit Crunch.

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

'what did you do with your tax refund?' 'You're looking at it.'

"We'll need to have your husband co-sign the stick-up note."

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

'Could you please hurry, Teller, I need to make a deposit, and quickly.'

And one day, I decided to put my money to work.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Cupid views his online credit rating.

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

"Look what I just bought! The price tag said 25 bucks but I got it for 30!"

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

"The neighbor's dog just made a deposit in our yard. We're going over there to give him his interest."

"Here's the sick squid I owe you. . ."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

Very rich - please help yourself

"I'm down here, enjoying a quiet beer at the stack-o'-bills-that-I-can't-pay cafe."

'What's the worst thing about being a street person? -- the ATM fees, I guess.'

Times get tough for the thimble.

'Saved!!'

IRS: Be a patriot! Donate your tax refund to help pay for the latest government bail outs!

Lance, I've had an offer from a hefty New Jersey man named Tony

Wine Spirits. He tried to buy a bottle with an expired credit card. That's a champagne finance violation!

Pretty soon it'll be spring, when a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. I wonder if it's possible to get a bank loan to refinance my fancy. !

"I'd like to withdraw time."

"Thanks, Garvey. You'll get it as soon as I'm back on my feet."

Thrifty Credit Union

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'