Financial Fortune Seeker Gifts

'How to Win a Lottery'

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Stock investing books: Winning/Losing.

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"Only another thousand points up and I'm even, honey."

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

Dow 40,000? Come in and check it out!

"Stocks closed lower on news that what goes up will also go down."

"Fido is our best investment forecaster. He can smell fear, greed, and money."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Golden Eggs.

Gambling on office building construction

"Trepanning for gold"

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"I see a red cape, oh wait, be warned: There's a sword hidden under it!"

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."